going bald like britney

What would i look like bald?

As a woman, we never dreamed or even imagined ourselves being bald.(unless,of course if youre on drugs)
because for us, HAIR is as vital as having coffee,having a cigarette or even having sex.

I am like any other woman out there.

i LOVE my hair like i love my coffee in the morning.
I used to say " touch anything but do not mess with my hair!"

but when you're face with a situation beyond your control.

I asked myself...

Do i have any choice?

The answer is clear, i dont.

Its either face everyday knowing your hair is falling off...
knowing that eventually all of it will be gone.

I wake up every morning, searching my pillow for every strand of hair i could find.
i cant even brush my hair anymore.
or even hand combed it.

Sure the doctors warned me about the side effects of chemo:

loss of appetie
mouth sores
weakness
pain
infertility
neuropathy
hair loss

I never really thought about it until my hair started falling off.
yeah yeah.. i can almost hear what you're all going to say. " its only hair, it will grow back."
and if im in your shoes and you're trying to comfort someone like me, i would probably say the exact same thing.

My doctor told me that most cancer patients who is undergoing chemotherapy shaved their heads before treatment, so they wont have to face the dread of losing their hair.

Remember a scene from a movie about people with cancer and when they hand combed their hair, it started falling off? It's true.
I thought movies is an exaggeration of things but its not. my hair hair really does fall off. i can shake my head and it will fall, a lot!

Some suggested a wig...
Some suggested a scarf...

I dont really like wigs, they look kinda funny ( like sarah Geronimo in a very special love). I might wear a scarf once in a while, if its a cool scarf ( no flowery scarf for me, so baduy) and im thinking.. why hide it??? Britney look cool bald even Demi in GI Jane.
of course im not Britney nor Demi, but i am someone...

I am ANNA and i will make bald look good. ( haha )

I will probably shave my head this week or after my chemo on sept 10. Though my mom and lola are against it ( i think they are trying to hold on to me on not looking so sick and shaving my hair just confirms it for them)

Losing my hair doesnt really depress or saddens me as much as it would my family. Im actually getting used to the idea of me with no hair. I've always been impulsive with it. I dyed it a hundred times,tried every color, tried every style.

I'll post a blog with a picture of me with a shaved head and you are not allowed to say anything bad about it!!! haha, Remember i have cancer, So you all have to be nice to me. lol

until then...

@ mitch - i know seeing me in the hospital is very hard for you and now youre going to see me with no hair,so dont panic ok? "it's only hair, it will grow back." haha

@ jaja - i know you want me to hold off shaving my hair until you return, but some things just can't wait. sorry!.

@ art and alfred - remember what you told me, if i shave my hair, so will you, so i will expect to see a pic of your shaved head. haha ( i cant wait)

TEAM ANNA - humanizing cancer with humor.

-listening to MIley's The Climb - i kinda made it my song..

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on